sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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