I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
