Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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