I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
