either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I forget how to act sober
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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