people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
