I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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