and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
