I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
