make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
