i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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