Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
PANTIES FOUND
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