And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
