We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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