Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
