I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
