You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
