Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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