Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I think my moral compass just broke
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
