never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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