is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize