Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
