im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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