If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize