He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
