You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I believe in your delicious
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
