Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
