so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
