is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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