ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
