You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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