It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
