well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
