So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize