So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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