I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
