Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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