i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
