i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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