Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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