there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
