I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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