I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
