And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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