So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
