yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Randomize
