Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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