Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
