After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
