I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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