I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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