wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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