I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I will be naked everywhere
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
