3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
