it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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